A Change Has Come...

And it's been a long time coming.

When I was in the 7th grade, my family took our 4th vacation to Hawaii. We were sitting in the hotel room, watching Major League (I know-who watches tv when they're in Hawaii?) when all of a sudden there was an obnoxious boom and the whole building shook. Earthquake? Bomb? Later we would learn that it was an elephant. An elephant who had "gone on a rampage" and killed his trainers and was shot dead in the streets of Honolulu. The noise and shaking was the elephant falling to the ground. A few years later, while pondering a topic for a paper, I remembered that incident and started surfing the newly founded internet for information on "animal rights." I discovered a whole new world. A world that changed my life. I became a vegetarian (later I would eat the occasional piece of chicken) and became an avid circus protester.

It's been about 13 years since I wrote that paper and permanently gave up meat and fish (save for that occasional chicken.) I never once "cheated" in all that time and indulged in a small bite of turkey or ham. I protest the circus, I've "adopted" endangered species and farm animals. I drank milk and ate cheese and didn't think anything of it. Until a few weeks ago I saw Jonathan Safran Foer on the Ellen show discussing his new book Eating Animals. I was intrigued and immediately went out and bought it. I read the book with-in 2 days. It was life-changing. I was aware of the factory farms and the atrocities that happen daily there; I had read about it, seen pictures and video footage of the abuse, but hadn't really thought about it. If I took the time and froze my ass off to protest the abuse of circus animals every year, if I adopted/sponsored/lobbied for Indian dancing bears/polar bears/pigs, etc. how could I possibly justify eating that occasional chicken or drinking regular milk? I couldn't. I immediately went out and bought soy milk. I haven't bought cheese (my main food source) in 2 weeks.

I'm unemployed and not collecting. I have rent, utilities, a car payment, car insurance, cell phone and credit card bills and of course MK's welfare to think of. I can't afford to spend the extra money to eat "vegan." But at the same time I can. Because while I haven't been a major contributor to the factory farm industry in the past 12 years, I was a contributor. I can afford to spend a few dollars more on my groceries and know that at least 1 factory corporation will no longer be receiving my small contribution to animal abuse. Animal abuse I have abhorred for the past 12 years, but have only recently begun to fully comprehend.

The End of an Era

has come..Today we buried Teddy Kennedy. He was such a charismatic character; an amazing presence. The memorial and funeral were filled with touching speeches that spoke not only of his outstanding congressional career, but also his role as the patriarch of a family that has endured so many tragedies. He was a man of deep faith who recognized his faults and sought forgiveness and was looking forward to rejoining the brothers and other family members he lost so suddenly. As I sat and listened to so many people speak of Teddy's determination to over-come so much adversity, I was deeply moved by the accounts of his efforts and his simple words of wisdom he bestowed on grieving family members, "there is no excuse to give in."

I wish the avid sailor godspeed and a peaceful cruise into eternal rest.

I said No...No..No..

But that doesn't mean Operation B Goes hard isn't in effect. I can report that despite the recent developments (i.e. break-ins, car jacking, heave hoing of cast members, etc.) that in fact I am suffering from a whopper of a headache because I am successfully lowering the dp intake! YES! I have had ONE dp today. AND not only have I reduced the dp intake, I have also reduced the CL intake. I have even graced the gym with my presence.2x this week.Plus a softball game.

I'm addicted to fresh..Betty Ford ain't ready for me ;)

Mmmbop

I'm dying to divulge how "the" interview went, but alas, I can not jinx it! I will keep mum for now, until the gods hand down their decision ;)

A day of many conflicts. The aforementioned "cast" member is still mia. Didn't even recall the minute details of my life, that ex-co-workers did. Definitely coming close to the old heave ho. An "interview." A break-in. A whopping headache. And car-jacking! Yikes! But as I sit with CL and unwind, I have an inner peace. I comforted the victim of an unfathomable crime. I laid to rest (almost completely) the many life-long dreams I had planned for myself and the cast member. Not a horrible day, but not the best day. An mmmbop day. Thank you Hanson boys.

And Now the End is Near??

Ha! The long standing theme of my life! Ironically as the "plot" becomes more clear, the "cast" is coming under question. Ok, so not the whole cast, but a key player.

When the road of life becomes bumpy, we rely heavily on those that we love to help us through those rough patches. And it's those times, when you discover who you truly can depend on. I'm not discounting the member's role or support through-out the years, but as often happens, things change. I no longer see the person I casted. I see a self-absorbed stranger, who takes every opportunity to keep me and my issues out of the spotlight. This is not the first time this character has come under scrunity, but this time around, I'm through with the diva behaviour. The final curtain call could be here cus dam* it-this is my show! But how do you prepare for a season finale after such a long run?

The gods are Once Again F*cking with Me..

Amazing how quickly things can change in such a short amount of time. Monday's high screeched to a halt on Tuesday and quickly become a distant thought as more pressing matters came to ahead. Family issues coupled with the most disappointing "job" news I had ever heard; my 2nd interview was not to be. Hiring freeze. On top of familia issues and the departure of long-ago mentioned significant other, it was the final blow. Oddly enough, I shed no tears, threw no punches. It was a slap in the face yes, but also a slap to get my, as of lately, dragging/self-pitying as* in gear!

With no choice, but to put Operation B Goes Hard back into full throttle, I decided to have 1 last hurrah this weekend. I did do errands and spent quality time with family. More over, I spent more than enough time with my beloved Coors Light. I explained to CL that we had to take a break for awhile..until things were sorted out. CL was surprisingly accepting and supportive. Operation B Goes Hard has once again commenced.

No Stopping Until I've Had Enough

You couldn't tell me nothing this afternoon!!! I was on cloud 9. The Chesire Cat grin was in in full effect. I couldn't stop cus I couldn't get enough! I had some amazing news this afternoon-news that lifted the black cloud that had taken up residence on my shoulders months ago!

I received a phone call about a j.o.b. AND I received word that my unemployment checks are in the mail at long last!! The best pieces of news I had heard in quite some time. I was reinvigorated with energy. I handled business in the office. I made my calls. I played a damn good game of softball. I had A beer to celebrate!

Alas it may seam however, that my news was prematurely celebrated. In my quest to cleverly maneuver myself out of the tragic situation I'm in, I may have literally screwed myself. I forgot to file an important piece of info. 2 weeks ago. =( An amateur error, that hopefully I'll rectify tomorrow! Because I have not felt such happiness/such excitement in months, that it's a minor setback that I am determined to conquer! I will be "sick" tomorrow and continue on my quest for greatness!!!! Cus I refuse to stop until I get enough ;)

Strategy Change

I'm a big enough person to admit defeat. For all my talk over the past few months, I'm a big enough person to admit..I have failed. I have yet to lower the alcohol intake, I fake trips to the gym, I pretend to study for the LSAT.

I'd like to blame it all on the craziness that has ensued since I started "working" again, but that would be unfair. I've let the situation and my frustration/rage get the better part of me instead of working past it and trying harder to change the direction of my life. But no more! I have once again been inspired via the millionaire matchmaker!

How was I inspired you might ask? By the millionaires on the show of course. I wasn't impressed by their personalities/looks/humor/intelligence. NO! In fact I was impressed by the lack of intelligence. Harsh you might say/crazy-they're rich! you might say...maybe so/maybe not. In fact what struck me the most about those millionaires was their seemingly lack of smarts. Not 1 of them apparently went to a good college and set out with a business plan in mind and made it happen. Their wealth seemed to be a stroke of luck/1 good investment or business decision and boom! Rich. I was impressed and got to thinking that if a semi-intelligent/not very attractive/un-charming chump can have a house over-looking the beach in California, so can I!

I have a new Holy Grail. One that some might consider disreputable ;) I can hardly wait.

Come Back to Me

By default, I'm generally a "the glass if half full" type of person. I try to keep things light/optimistic/it will get better mentality-if you will. Lately, however, I have been seriously doubting/questioning this theory/mind-set.

I've found myself wondering if there is such a concept as previous and/or post-life/reincarnation. Why?? Well, I'm generally a nice person. 95% of the time I'm polite/compassionate/give people/situations the benefit of the doubt. I always look for the positive side of things. BUT, that line of thinking hasn't gotten me very far. I'm starting to believe that, if there is such a thing as previous lives, I must have been serial killer in my previous life. Why else would I be in the situation I'm in? How does one end up in the position I am in? Never once in my life, have I had so much frustration/rage at a particular person and situation. Talk about going from the fryer to the frying pan. I'd rather be sitting at home collecting unemployment and facing repossession or eviction!

More importantly I'm disgusted by the fact that I have become (and I'm being brutally honest) a bit*h. I've started to snap and snarl at those who are a part of my inner circle. I've been short with those who are offering words of support and encouragement, while maintaining the up-most patience with the person/situation who is causing such a dramatic mood change in the first place! =(

I'm at a loss of words to describe what I deal with at work. Even more so, I'm disappointed in myself at how I've channeled the frustration towards "my people." I must find a solution to this problem. I must seek out new position that will make me happy or at least have me well on my way to being satisfied so I can come back to me. Thanks DC.

Write to Me and Escape

I'm not much into health food; I am into champagne ;) I'm actually more into beers, margaritas & whiskey ;) but you get the point. I had to escape the insanity of the last few weeks and regain the momentum I had gained and lost. And did I escape!... to a little place called Rhode Island.

I didn't do a damn thing all weekend except drink my beverages, swap gossip with the familia, read trashy magazines & work on my tan. It's amazing how refreshing it can be to simply drive 75 miles away from one's home and do nothing! A few good hours in the sun, a few good beers with a few good people. I was good to go!

What-the-f*ck Ever!

Breaking Point/Critical Moment/Boiling Point/Moment of Truth..call it what you like, but we all reach a point when we've just had enough! For some of us, these moments happen frequently, but others, they are a rare occasion.

I am experiencing my 1st all out, 5 alarm fall out! AND I can honestly say I have a new found respect for those who go through "fall outs" on the regular. I don't know how they deal! I managed to escape from the insane asylum for lunch-at 3:00pm-the other day and was that worked up I was crying and screaming into a pillow! Tonight, I'm listening to Hanson, circa 1997 Mmbop days.Yeah.

I must "get back on track" and crawl out of this funk! Impossible!! you say!! NEVER!! I will work past the CT. Dept. of Labor not paying me my unemployment, I will work past the physco job, I will work past the loony-toon boss, I will get back to the gym and shed the recently gained pounds! I can NOT do anything else; it wouldn't be ME!

So, how does 1 accomplish this? Well, I don't know about 1, but I have once again curbed the alcohol intake, started to pay my respects to the gym again, I have become a city volunteer! Yes, I am on my way to becoming a full fledged animal shelter volunteer. BUT, perhaps, the most important step towards sanity, I have once again adopted my, I just don't give a f*ck attitude ;)

I Have a Lot of Rage...

& it led to something that I never do.Twice-in 1 day.I cried;twice.I simply can't take the woman.For the 1st time in my "professional" life, I have considered abandoning ship! Having my intelligence underestimated/under minded half the day & being told, "oo you must have forgotten," when in fact I had never been told, is getting really old. Some poor woman got up and was about to walk out today because of the woman's attitude! Words can not describe how rude/crazy/ghetto fabolous the woman is.

BUT,we do what we must sometimes.So I shed a tear during my lunch break (at 3:00pm) and proceeded to stay until 6:30 to see the aforementioned hostile woman. After escaping from the loony bin, I ventured to the gym. I haven't visited my gym quite as regularly as I usually do, so I was pleased when I had a good work-out and released a portion of the rage I was feeling and was able to re-think the game plan. No, ladies and gentleman, I have not forgotten Operation B Goes Hard or law school, but I will admit that I have derailed from the plan, but I am pleased to announce that after today, I am slowly feeling my way back ;)

Come Fly with Me

To Mississippi...??? Hell, I'll take an all expense paid trip anywhere! The Deep South was plenty interesting. Rental cars left with the keys in the ignition, no radio reception, no-one can give directions, the International Airport closed down at 6pm cus sugar dem's just when we close!What they aren't lacking is the infamous Southern Hospitality. Even while giving terrible directions-they were able to charm this coolly polite Easterner.

I only had a few hours to explore the Magnolia State and I was determined to make the most of it. I cruised around and took in the spectacular site of never-ending trees and grass. 1 old street, had an oak-lined covered "bridge."I kept stopping at various gas stations and stores just to hear a heavily accented voice inquire if ma'am needed some help.mmhhmm. Even learning that my flight was delayed didn't deter me from enjoying the friendliness and openness of the South. After exploring the International Airport's 1 store, I took up residence in the 1 and only cantina. It was then that I was slightly annoyed for 1st time, after the kind bartender informed me that, "no ma'am we don't got them Coors Light here." My annoyance quickly dissolved though after 2 good ol' cowboys befriended me and started asking questions about "dem big citays and all them's peoples." Before long, our friendly banter had grown to include 2 other stranded travelers. All too soon, it was 6 o'clock and it was last call. I had thoroughly been charmed by Mississippi and her people.

After departing Jackson, I became stranded in Atlanta. Ironically, the guy across the aisle from me had interviewed for the same job. I had a travel buddy-yay! We stood in line and waited for Delta to announce our fate for the evening. Fate had me going 1 way and my travel buddy another. I got slightly nervous on the bus drive to the hotel; the area started to get shadier and shadier, but nothing prepared me or my bus companions for the greeting we got at the local Comfort Inn. We stepped off the bus and a large and in-charge man, complete with a MJ tribute shirt and drink in had welcomed us to the hotel. He proceeded to bash Delta and give out coupons for the club right around the corner proclaiming the best thing about it, was the drinks! My luck had finally changed and I was the 1st in line to check-in. I got my key and approached the welcoming committee and asked to be pointed in the direction of the discounted club. Not surprising, he escorted me around the corner and informed me that he was a Harlem boy originally. We came around the corner and unbelievably loud ol' skool rap was blaring and a huge bouncer was at the door. I thanked my escort and braced myself for what lay ahead. Ha! There was a karaoke section set up and 3 middle-aged white women sitting at the bar waiting for their order. It was like being on the set of some tacky B-list movie. I swallowed down a laugh and ordered my usual Coors Light, but once again was informed that, "ma'am we don't got that Coors Light." What's with the South hating on the Rockies? Once again, I soon had a companion to share my Miller Light with. I swapped stories with the nice boy from Kansas who was going on a month long back-packing tour through Europe and waited for my take-out.

What should have been a 1 day trip ended up being a day and a half adventure. After touching down in NY, I was exhausted and dreading going straight to work, but I noticed that I was more calm and relaxed than I had been a day and a half before. It was refreshing to be around genuine friendly people who weren't constantly checking the time and rushing from place to place.

How Do We Say Goodbye?

With a touching ceremony befitting a king. The world gathered today to pay respects to the King of Pop. It was a moving celebration with the Jackson family displaying an open-ness so rarely seen. Differences aside, the world came together today to celebrate and mourn the life of Michael Jackson. Even the most hardened were choked up when MJ's young daughter proclaimed her love for her father.

What an amazing young lady-1 of the 1st in the family to come to her feet when Rev. Al Sharpton proclaimed, "I want his children to know there was nothing strange about your daddy, it was strange what your daddy had to deal with." We can only imagine the type of unorthodox life Michael and his children led. What was clear though, was the love this family had for their father, son, uncle, cousin, nephew, etc.

Michael was the 1st and I dare say, the only celebrity, who will ever have such a dramatic impact on me. My heart and prayers go out to his 3 children and his entire family. I and the world cried along with you today.

The World Celebrates MJ

Websites, tv channels, radio stations, all paying their respects to the phenomenon that was Michael Jackson. I haven't seen anything like it since the passing of Princess Diana. With all the civil/political unrest that is going on in the world, it's nice to see that the world can come together to mourn and celebrate the life of MJ.

For me, his passing is surreal. Major figures have passed while Ive been on this Earth, but none had touched me like MJ did. I am a fan of dance and music and have danced since the tender age of 3, so for me Michael was a god. I was awed by him and his talent. I still am. I always will be.

King of Pop Bows Out..

The world is in shock! Odd personal life aside, he was a musical genius. He spanned the ages; I'm a fan, older friends are fans, the parental units are fans, younger friends are fans...Almost all of us have a favorite MJ song. Some of the best "time of my life" moments occurred dancing away to an MJ song. I shall miss him, as I know millions more will as well.

Madness Continues

1st impressions are interesting. Sometimes you just can't tell after that initial meeting. Sadly, my impression was accurate after Monday's foray back into the working world. Things went from crazy to kooky to bizarre to just plain nuts. If I had another iron in the fire I would not have returned after Tuesday's adventure. I've been banned from obtaining my parking permit. Tales of gentleman coming to blows in the office/phones being ripped out of the wall/complaints filed/girls gone wild being shouted,etc. are abundant. An intense negotiation with a contractor even went down (loudly.) But that ladies and gentleman is not the best worst thing about the past 4 days of my life. I met fat bastard. Yes. AND he explained to me what the difference is between a backslash and a forward slash. Life-changing.

First Day Blues...

Day 1 was interesting to say the least. I waited for over an hour for the big boss lady to even show up! I felt like total chump! I felt like I was in the twilight zone allll day. Weirdos galore on the phone and 1 even stumbled into the office just before closing time. Boss lady even commandeered my cellular device to have a conference call with the IRS. I'm seriously not making this up; I couldn't!

I was so relieved to get the hell outa there and find my "center." Hopefully tomorrow will bring different things.

Freshhhh

Tomorrow is the 1st day back in the "real" world for me. I should be enthused, but sadly I'm not. I'm finding it difficult to drum up excitement for a position that I have been forced into accepting. I kinda want to feel guilty for the direction my thoughts have taken..I mean so many people have been struggling for awhile now. BUT..what the hell..I'll just put it out there..who cares about them??!! This is about ME and my quest for life-long happiness in a profession that j'adore! How am I suppose to find the time to pursue my dreams while being trapped in a 4x4 cube for 8 plus hours a day doing nonsense I don't want to do?! Ok. Rant over...

Naturally, I'm grateful for the opportunity and as I've said plenty of times, I'll give it my best shot. To boost the troops morale, I paid the mall a visit to add to my collection. I mean seriously, if you're going to be going stir crazy sitting around yacking with total strangers about god knows what all day, you might as well look faboosh while doing it ;)

On a Mission

I have launched Operation B We Go Hard. Today was the 1st day and it was a success. After the "cleansing," a successful night out, a hot movie date and the awesome-ness that is the New Yankee Stadium, I decided to make some adjustments a la Bridget Jones style. The Operation consists of lowering the beverage intake, total elimination of the slight nicotine addiction, eating a tad bit healthier and gracing the gym with my presence more often. The most crucial element to the Operation-going after the holy grail. I have unearthed the great mystery and am preparing to do battle with the oh so high and mighty admissions offices of some of the most prestigous law schools around. Hear's to an amazing LSAT score ;)

I don't know why I decided to launch the Operation. I didn't hear a song/watch a movie/or have a chance encounter/etc. that made me realize something. I've heard those stories before from a variety of people. I'm kinda jealous that I wasn't inspired to launch the Operation by mysterious forces. Scratch that- I'm not envious of mysterous forces cus I was my own divine inspiration and that's Top Notch ;)

The Yankees Win!! (Repeat Over n Over)

There is no place quite like the Old Yankee Stadium. Some of my favorite memories are of visiting the Bronx to see the boys in their pinstripes. Nothing has ever compared to the thrill of walking into that hallowed arena. There was always something electric in the air; a total awareness of the legends that have graced the field. A good time was always had, even when the Yanks weren't on their A Game and lost.

Yesterday was my first experience at the New Yankee Stadium. I was teeming with excitement, but wondered how could anything possibly compare to the Old Stadium?! I have to say that I was impressed. It's a tasteful, classy arena dedicated to the Yankees of old, with a nod to the new generation. It was just as thrilling to see the big NY behind home-plate, just as deafening when the boys were announced and just as rowdy when things got to close for comfort. But something was definitely missing. Perhaps it was knowing that the 26 championships hadn't been won there or knowing that the Old Stadium was still standing in plain view across the street. Whatever it was, I'm sure it will dissipate as the Yankees begin to make history in their new home. The beginning of the walk back to the train station was bittersweet. I stopped to pay my respects to the magnificent Old Stadium for the last time. I officially said good-bye to the house that Ruth built and look forward to another 20 plus years of Yankee Stadium memories.

Subsiding Rage

I have had uncontrollable rage for the better part of 2 days now. After a half-as* attempt at working off the frustrations at the gym, to no avail, I rolled back to base camp and went on a rampage with a mop. Simply amazed at how liberating I found it to be on this day. Usually I just work through the motions cus let's face it, the job needs to get done, but as I scrubbed, polished, waxed, etc. I felt like I was washing away not only the rage, but all the troubles that have plagued me over the past few months. A fresh start if you will. Who knew scrubbing bubbles would offer so much comfort?!

I feel the need to reward myself for letting go of the rage and having a squeaky clean apartment. I feel the need for whiskey, a short dress with cowboy boots and the easy comradery that can only be found in a Western honky tonk. I guess I'll have to settle for stilettos and martini's in this fabOosh city I call home ;)

Celebrate Good Times..

Come on! I really need to start listening to a different radio station. Oh wait, I live in a building with haywire internet access and poor radio reception. Typical. I did get an offer today. That's definitely a reason to throw caution to the wind and do a little celebrating. I indulged in a few bevvies and more importantly, a few new outfits. I lie. I didn't go overboard and buy whole new outfits, but I just had to pick up a few things on this momentous occasion. A girl's entitled to after fasting for the past few months.

Am I sell out? Nah. I remain true to the mission of uncovering the role of a lifetime. In the meantime, I will report for duty with as much enthusiasm and devotion that I can muster.

Library Stand-Off

Today I met a librarian on a rampage. I haven't come across someone with so much attitude in years! It was refreshing-revitalizing even! She got me right back into my fighting/not going to keep me down zone!

But seriously she was a bit over the top. She was like a cobra waiting for the moment to launch her venom at some poor unsuspecting victim. What she wasn't expecting was me. I was in no mood for some small town librarian and her bitter tongue. I conjured up all the coolness and arrogance in me and froze her attack with one condescending glare. I dared her to not remove the outrageous fine of $17 from my account and refused to back down. She soon retracted her fangs and hood and slithered away. Cobra: 0, Me: $17 still in my pocket AND use of the computer for an hour ;)

If Nothing Else...

I've got an amazing tan ;) I've watched my favorite show (Ellen) everyday. Sadly I'm one of the few that doesn't own a dvr or tivo. Whatever. I've rented and watched movies galore. Caught up with my reading. I've window shopped and picked out every outfit I'll purchase in just a few short weeks. All this while I search for the holy grail.

The sun is out and today I'll be doing regular upkeep work on the aforementioned tan with a few good friends and beers. I've got the Cheshire Cat grin on my face because Life with or with-out a job is damn good.

Liquidating Assets

I thought this day wouldn't come. I stayed positive, made the calls, the emails, made it clear that I was willing to take a "strategic" step back in order to "achieve my long-term career goals,"I cut coupons! But alas, it was for naught. I have to liquidate my assets.

Even as the thought started to creep into my mind, I started to laugh (hysterically.) Liquidate my assets indeed-what a joke! The only asset I have is my once highly cherished car and technically it's not mine; some bank owns it. For another 3 years. Bast*rds.

I do not want to do what I must. I do not want to give up my identity. I do not want to give up 511.

Should I Write this Down??

We've all had those moments when we mutter, "you couldn't make this sh*t up!" Some of us though, have those moments much to often. I am one of those people. For years, I've said that I'm going to write a movie script or novel about the crazy events that have gone down. Plenty of people have said you've got such great stories; tell them! As much as I want to share some of these experiences, is it right/nice/proper/loyal??.. to expose friends' deep secrets/crazy tales of drunkenness/madness/insaneness?? This ladies and gentlemen is my major malfunction; not being a laid off, running out money, panic ridden about the condo, trying to find a paying job nutcase!

Now I know, I said I wasn't going to panic and dwell on being laid off, but I must confess, I have had my share of panic moments. AND I must confess, that I haven't been laid off a mere handful of days. In fact, I've been out of work for quite sometime, and am actively seeking a way to keep the cash flowing WHILE I purse the ultimate career. Sigh.

One

My first day as an official "laid-offe" has been faboosh. I slept in, watched Regis & Kelly, Rachel Ray and The View. I just sat in my pjs, in my bed, hanging out- watching all these wonderful informative shows. Who knows how much knowledge I have been denied by dragging myself off to "work" every morning at o'dark thirty! I got motivated at 12, when the news came on. I couldn't bare to watch the news-that's something the employed do! It was part of my old routine and I wanted nothing to do with it.

I went to the gym to think. I exercised the demons and pondered my next move. I asked myself the age old question-what do you want to be when you grow up? The Donald has said plenty of times that one must never commit oneself to something unless one is passionate about it. I'm in the process of reviewing everything I'm passionate about and how to turn that passion into my life's work. What can a procrastinator, with an electric taste in "causes," cultures, clothes and music pursue? Stay tuned ;)

C'est La Vie

Said the ol' folk, it goes to show you never can tell (Chuck Berry's voice echoing in my head)

That was the 1st thing that popped into my head on that fateful day on which I joined the ranks of the laid-off. No shock. No panic. Just the calming voice of Chuck Berry reassuring me that life would continue with or with-out my consent.

What does one do when one finds oneself suddenly unemployed and responsible for feeding not just himself, but one hamster, 2 fish, a part-time lover, one cat, one car (gasss!!) and of course keeping the roof over every one's head? Why, one hits up the package store to obtain supplies and ventures home to one's couch to rant/rave/try to shed a tear/cry/etc. to anyone and everyone (well at least those who are still employed and have the time to answer the phone while they sit at their desks slaving away for the man) who will listen to the torrid tale of betrayal! Ok. So I did hit up the store for supplies and allowed myself 30 minutes of self-pity, but I only made 1 phone call and I didn't rant/rave/cry/etc. I simply explained the situation and said that everything would be fine; that I would be fine. I hung up, took a swig and revamped the resume. I put in a few calls to old recruiters and decided that this was THE MOMENT!

The moment that would become the definition of my life...where do I go from here? What do I do with myself? I decided that I wouldn't panic about the situation and worry only about securing another job to keep life moving, but to make the final decision about which direction I wanted to take. The good-bye that cripples so many, empowered me. I was going to discover myself and my destiny.