The End of an Era

has come..Today we buried Teddy Kennedy. He was such a charismatic character; an amazing presence. The memorial and funeral were filled with touching speeches that spoke not only of his outstanding congressional career, but also his role as the patriarch of a family that has endured so many tragedies. He was a man of deep faith who recognized his faults and sought forgiveness and was looking forward to rejoining the brothers and other family members he lost so suddenly. As I sat and listened to so many people speak of Teddy's determination to over-come so much adversity, I was deeply moved by the accounts of his efforts and his simple words of wisdom he bestowed on grieving family members, "there is no excuse to give in."

I wish the avid sailor godspeed and a peaceful cruise into eternal rest.

I said No...No..No..

But that doesn't mean Operation B Goes hard isn't in effect. I can report that despite the recent developments (i.e. break-ins, car jacking, heave hoing of cast members, etc.) that in fact I am suffering from a whopper of a headache because I am successfully lowering the dp intake! YES! I have had ONE dp today. AND not only have I reduced the dp intake, I have also reduced the CL intake. I have even graced the gym with my presence.2x this week.Plus a softball game.

I'm addicted to fresh..Betty Ford ain't ready for me ;)

Mmmbop

I'm dying to divulge how "the" interview went, but alas, I can not jinx it! I will keep mum for now, until the gods hand down their decision ;)

A day of many conflicts. The aforementioned "cast" member is still mia. Didn't even recall the minute details of my life, that ex-co-workers did. Definitely coming close to the old heave ho. An "interview." A break-in. A whopping headache. And car-jacking! Yikes! But as I sit with CL and unwind, I have an inner peace. I comforted the victim of an unfathomable crime. I laid to rest (almost completely) the many life-long dreams I had planned for myself and the cast member. Not a horrible day, but not the best day. An mmmbop day. Thank you Hanson boys.

And Now the End is Near??

Ha! The long standing theme of my life! Ironically as the "plot" becomes more clear, the "cast" is coming under question. Ok, so not the whole cast, but a key player.

When the road of life becomes bumpy, we rely heavily on those that we love to help us through those rough patches. And it's those times, when you discover who you truly can depend on. I'm not discounting the member's role or support through-out the years, but as often happens, things change. I no longer see the person I casted. I see a self-absorbed stranger, who takes every opportunity to keep me and my issues out of the spotlight. This is not the first time this character has come under scrunity, but this time around, I'm through with the diva behaviour. The final curtain call could be here cus dam* it-this is my show! But how do you prepare for a season finale after such a long run?

The gods are Once Again F*cking with Me..

Amazing how quickly things can change in such a short amount of time. Monday's high screeched to a halt on Tuesday and quickly become a distant thought as more pressing matters came to ahead. Family issues coupled with the most disappointing "job" news I had ever heard; my 2nd interview was not to be. Hiring freeze. On top of familia issues and the departure of long-ago mentioned significant other, it was the final blow. Oddly enough, I shed no tears, threw no punches. It was a slap in the face yes, but also a slap to get my, as of lately, dragging/self-pitying as* in gear!

With no choice, but to put Operation B Goes Hard back into full throttle, I decided to have 1 last hurrah this weekend. I did do errands and spent quality time with family. More over, I spent more than enough time with my beloved Coors Light. I explained to CL that we had to take a break for awhile..until things were sorted out. CL was surprisingly accepting and supportive. Operation B Goes Hard has once again commenced.

No Stopping Until I've Had Enough

You couldn't tell me nothing this afternoon!!! I was on cloud 9. The Chesire Cat grin was in in full effect. I couldn't stop cus I couldn't get enough! I had some amazing news this afternoon-news that lifted the black cloud that had taken up residence on my shoulders months ago!

I received a phone call about a j.o.b. AND I received word that my unemployment checks are in the mail at long last!! The best pieces of news I had heard in quite some time. I was reinvigorated with energy. I handled business in the office. I made my calls. I played a damn good game of softball. I had A beer to celebrate!

Alas it may seam however, that my news was prematurely celebrated. In my quest to cleverly maneuver myself out of the tragic situation I'm in, I may have literally screwed myself. I forgot to file an important piece of info. 2 weeks ago. =( An amateur error, that hopefully I'll rectify tomorrow! Because I have not felt such happiness/such excitement in months, that it's a minor setback that I am determined to conquer! I will be "sick" tomorrow and continue on my quest for greatness!!!! Cus I refuse to stop until I get enough ;)

Strategy Change

I'm a big enough person to admit defeat. For all my talk over the past few months, I'm a big enough person to admit..I have failed. I have yet to lower the alcohol intake, I fake trips to the gym, I pretend to study for the LSAT.

I'd like to blame it all on the craziness that has ensued since I started "working" again, but that would be unfair. I've let the situation and my frustration/rage get the better part of me instead of working past it and trying harder to change the direction of my life. But no more! I have once again been inspired via the millionaire matchmaker!

How was I inspired you might ask? By the millionaires on the show of course. I wasn't impressed by their personalities/looks/humor/intelligence. NO! In fact I was impressed by the lack of intelligence. Harsh you might say/crazy-they're rich! you might say...maybe so/maybe not. In fact what struck me the most about those millionaires was their seemingly lack of smarts. Not 1 of them apparently went to a good college and set out with a business plan in mind and made it happen. Their wealth seemed to be a stroke of luck/1 good investment or business decision and boom! Rich. I was impressed and got to thinking that if a semi-intelligent/not very attractive/un-charming chump can have a house over-looking the beach in California, so can I!

I have a new Holy Grail. One that some might consider disreputable ;) I can hardly wait.