At Last

The skies above are blue.I found a dream that I could speak to.A dream that I can call my own.I found a thrill that I have never known...at last....

I found myself in the city so nice they named it twice, the big apple, the place they say that if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Since my adventures in NY have begun, I have been alive in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. I spent 2 weeks being a true New Yorker, instead of a commuter, and in those 2 weeks, I lived more than I have in the past 2 years. I met the most amazing people, embraced the serenity of Central Park, danced in front of hundreds of people on 24th and Park,took the 7 to Queens to see a Mets game (gasp!) strolled through Strawberry fields, and so much more....

People would be hard pressed to understand the significance and impact of my reprieve in being a true New Yorker.While I was embracing the new direction life had taken me,my "epic misadventure" with the one who shall remain unnamed was crumbling.The aforementioned,signed h
is name on a paper that irrecoverably would alter mine and his lives forever.People say that act is for the best; time will tell.The shock has worn off, aided by a few good friends and Eminem's recovery(especially 25 to Life) being on repeat day in and day out.Shock was at 1st replaced with regret, then anger as an outreach to reverse the decision went unheeded.

Jekyll is gone and Hyde is at the helm.And I..I lay to rest my old friend Jekyll and embrace the Fairytale of New York.

I Dreamed a Dream...

in time gone by.

When hope was high and life worth living.

I dreamed that love would never die...

Then I was young and unafraid.

And dreams were made and used and wasted...

No song unsung, no wine untasted.

And still I dream he’d come to me.

That we would live the years together...

there are storms we cannot weather...

So different now from what it seemed..

But there are dreams that cannot be.

My Super is Such a...

Creeper!! I was putting stuff in my storage unit 1 day..in the basement..darkly lit..and I turned around to leave and boom there he was. He always tries to drag out conversations. The cops were called 1 day..my "friend" and I were being too loud..it was Saturday night..we were nakies..you get the point ;)

He knocked on my door this am. I was still in my pj's working on my laptop and knew it was him. I ignored his first 2 knocks. Then he pounded on the door a la the cops, so I finally answered. There he stood in all his over-weight creeper glory..wait for it..holding a pizza box. I was informed that I can't put pizza boxes in the recycling bin..WTF? Since when? cus of bugs. I was like okay..what about all the other pizza boxes I see in recycling bin? Then he smiled his best creeper smile and asked what I was up to.

This evening, I was back in my pj's speaking on the phone. I stepped out into the hallway for a second, went back in, and then again went back out. I made my way to the garbage disposal (still on the phone) and as I"m about a step away from my door, the weirdo was coming up the staircase. He looks at me and goes, you gotta go in, I got a call. WTF?! What the hell is wrong not only with this guy? But with the people in this building? I've lived here for well over a year and have never had issues. Since when is it a crime to talk on your phone while taking out the garbage??

I'm over the creeper superintendent. I'm over these whacked out neighbors. I'm over 511.

She's Off to Never Never Land...

A little under a year ago, I met the Bells. At the time, she wasn't the Bells, in fact we didn't know her name. We didn't know much of her story, but we knew she needed a home. Bella was immediately dubbed the Stoner cus she had eye issues and looked as if she was on a permanent magical trip! Other nicknames were to follow: Rena, Bam Bam, Trainwreck, Beans, Freckle Face, Hells Bells...

She was a character and a half; a trooper. She was lovely and fun-loving. She was an opportunist; stealthy watching you with your tea, cheese, pizza, etc. waiting for the right moment to strike and nab your snack! And she always had to be reassured that the oven wasn't holding a tasty morsel or 2. Just as you'd turn to tell her off, she'd look at you with those bloodshot eyes and that sad smile and just like that, the rant was over.

To me, she was Ma Bella Ami...the Bells. And she was my drinking buddy. Imagine my delight the first time I cracked open a Coors Light and she came running! She loved the sound of a top being popped and I loved nothing more than to indulge her. Our drinking sessions were temporarily suspended a while back because she was having some health issues. However, the temporary ban was lifted during the recent Christmas festivities and her and I partook in one of our favorite past-times. Me with a paper crown on my head and her with her bloodshot eyes, we toasted to the day when the ban would be permanently lifted. I gave her a kiss on her freckles and my cheek got a big wet one.

I will always be glad for that moment in time; it was to be our last drinking session...today, the bells toll for the Bells.

A Change Has Come...

And it's been a long time coming.

When I was in the 7th grade, my family took our 4th vacation to Hawaii. We were sitting in the hotel room, watching Major League (I know-who watches tv when they're in Hawaii?) when all of a sudden there was an obnoxious boom and the whole building shook. Earthquake? Bomb? Later we would learn that it was an elephant. An elephant who had "gone on a rampage" and killed his trainers and was shot dead in the streets of Honolulu. The noise and shaking was the elephant falling to the ground. A few years later, while pondering a topic for a paper, I remembered that incident and started surfing the newly founded internet for information on "animal rights." I discovered a whole new world. A world that changed my life. I became a vegetarian (later I would eat the occasional piece of chicken) and became an avid circus protester.

It's been about 13 years since I wrote that paper and permanently gave up meat and fish (save for that occasional chicken.) I never once "cheated" in all that time and indulged in a small bite of turkey or ham. I protest the circus, I've "adopted" endangered species and farm animals. I drank milk and ate cheese and didn't think anything of it. Until a few weeks ago I saw Jonathan Safran Foer on the Ellen show discussing his new book Eating Animals. I was intrigued and immediately went out and bought it. I read the book with-in 2 days. It was life-changing. I was aware of the factory farms and the atrocities that happen daily there; I had read about it, seen pictures and video footage of the abuse, but hadn't really thought about it. If I took the time and froze my ass off to protest the abuse of circus animals every year, if I adopted/sponsored/lobbied for Indian dancing bears/polar bears/pigs, etc. how could I possibly justify eating that occasional chicken or drinking regular milk? I couldn't. I immediately went out and bought soy milk. I haven't bought cheese (my main food source) in 2 weeks.

I'm unemployed and not collecting. I have rent, utilities, a car payment, car insurance, cell phone and credit card bills and of course MK's welfare to think of. I can't afford to spend the extra money to eat "vegan." But at the same time I can. Because while I haven't been a major contributor to the factory farm industry in the past 12 years, I was a contributor. I can afford to spend a few dollars more on my groceries and know that at least 1 factory corporation will no longer be receiving my small contribution to animal abuse. Animal abuse I have abhorred for the past 12 years, but have only recently begun to fully comprehend.

The End of an Era

has come..Today we buried Teddy Kennedy. He was such a charismatic character; an amazing presence. The memorial and funeral were filled with touching speeches that spoke not only of his outstanding congressional career, but also his role as the patriarch of a family that has endured so many tragedies. He was a man of deep faith who recognized his faults and sought forgiveness and was looking forward to rejoining the brothers and other family members he lost so suddenly. As I sat and listened to so many people speak of Teddy's determination to over-come so much adversity, I was deeply moved by the accounts of his efforts and his simple words of wisdom he bestowed on grieving family members, "there is no excuse to give in."

I wish the avid sailor godspeed and a peaceful cruise into eternal rest.

I said No...No..No..

But that doesn't mean Operation B Goes hard isn't in effect. I can report that despite the recent developments (i.e. break-ins, car jacking, heave hoing of cast members, etc.) that in fact I am suffering from a whopper of a headache because I am successfully lowering the dp intake! YES! I have had ONE dp today. AND not only have I reduced the dp intake, I have also reduced the CL intake. I have even graced the gym with my presence.2x this week.Plus a softball game.

I'm addicted to fresh..Betty Ford ain't ready for me ;)