The gods are Once Again F*cking with Me..

Amazing how quickly things can change in such a short amount of time. Monday's high screeched to a halt on Tuesday and quickly become a distant thought as more pressing matters came to ahead. Family issues coupled with the most disappointing "job" news I had ever heard; my 2nd interview was not to be. Hiring freeze. On top of familia issues and the departure of long-ago mentioned significant other, it was the final blow. Oddly enough, I shed no tears, threw no punches. It was a slap in the face yes, but also a slap to get my, as of lately, dragging/self-pitying as* in gear!

With no choice, but to put Operation B Goes Hard back into full throttle, I decided to have 1 last hurrah this weekend. I did do errands and spent quality time with family. More over, I spent more than enough time with my beloved Coors Light. I explained to CL that we had to take a break for awhile..until things were sorted out. CL was surprisingly accepting and supportive. Operation B Goes Hard has once again commenced.

Come Back to Me

By default, I'm generally a "the glass if half full" type of person. I try to keep things light/optimistic/it will get better mentality-if you will. Lately, however, I have been seriously doubting/questioning this theory/mind-set.

I've found myself wondering if there is such a concept as previous and/or post-life/reincarnation. Why?? Well, I'm generally a nice person. 95% of the time I'm polite/compassionate/give people/situations the benefit of the doubt. I always look for the positive side of things. BUT, that line of thinking hasn't gotten me very far. I'm starting to believe that, if there is such a thing as previous lives, I must have been serial killer in my previous life. Why else would I be in the situation I'm in? How does one end up in the position I am in? Never once in my life, have I had so much frustration/rage at a particular person and situation. Talk about going from the fryer to the frying pan. I'd rather be sitting at home collecting unemployment and facing repossession or eviction!

More importantly I'm disgusted by the fact that I have become (and I'm being brutally honest) a bit*h. I've started to snap and snarl at those who are a part of my inner circle. I've been short with those who are offering words of support and encouragement, while maintaining the up-most patience with the person/situation who is causing such a dramatic mood change in the first place! =(

I'm at a loss of words to describe what I deal with at work. Even more so, I'm disappointed in myself at how I've channeled the frustration towards "my people." I must find a solution to this problem. I must seek out new position that will make me happy or at least have me well on my way to being satisfied so I can come back to me. Thanks DC.

I Have a Lot of Rage...

& it led to something that I never do.Twice-in 1 day.I cried;twice.I simply can't take the woman.For the 1st time in my "professional" life, I have considered abandoning ship! Having my intelligence underestimated/under minded half the day & being told, "oo you must have forgotten," when in fact I had never been told, is getting really old. Some poor woman got up and was about to walk out today because of the woman's attitude! Words can not describe how rude/crazy/ghetto fabolous the woman is.

BUT,we do what we must sometimes.So I shed a tear during my lunch break (at 3:00pm) and proceeded to stay until 6:30 to see the aforementioned hostile woman. After escaping from the loony bin, I ventured to the gym. I haven't visited my gym quite as regularly as I usually do, so I was pleased when I had a good work-out and released a portion of the rage I was feeling and was able to re-think the game plan. No, ladies and gentleman, I have not forgotten Operation B Goes Hard or law school, but I will admit that I have derailed from the plan, but I am pleased to announce that after today, I am slowly feeling my way back ;)

Madness Continues

1st impressions are interesting. Sometimes you just can't tell after that initial meeting. Sadly, my impression was accurate after Monday's foray back into the working world. Things went from crazy to kooky to bizarre to just plain nuts. If I had another iron in the fire I would not have returned after Tuesday's adventure. I've been banned from obtaining my parking permit. Tales of gentleman coming to blows in the office/phones being ripped out of the wall/complaints filed/girls gone wild being shouted,etc. are abundant. An intense negotiation with a contractor even went down (loudly.) But that ladies and gentleman is not the best worst thing about the past 4 days of my life. I met fat bastard. Yes. AND he explained to me what the difference is between a backslash and a forward slash. Life-changing.

Should I Write this Down??

We've all had those moments when we mutter, "you couldn't make this sh*t up!" Some of us though, have those moments much to often. I am one of those people. For years, I've said that I'm going to write a movie script or novel about the crazy events that have gone down. Plenty of people have said you've got such great stories; tell them! As much as I want to share some of these experiences, is it right/nice/proper/loyal??.. to expose friends' deep secrets/crazy tales of drunkenness/madness/insaneness?? This ladies and gentlemen is my major malfunction; not being a laid off, running out money, panic ridden about the condo, trying to find a paying job nutcase!

Now I know, I said I wasn't going to panic and dwell on being laid off, but I must confess, I have had my share of panic moments. AND I must confess, that I haven't been laid off a mere handful of days. In fact, I've been out of work for quite sometime, and am actively seeking a way to keep the cash flowing WHILE I purse the ultimate career. Sigh.