Come Back to Me

By default, I'm generally a "the glass if half full" type of person. I try to keep things light/optimistic/it will get better mentality-if you will. Lately, however, I have been seriously doubting/questioning this theory/mind-set.

I've found myself wondering if there is such a concept as previous and/or post-life/reincarnation. Why?? Well, I'm generally a nice person. 95% of the time I'm polite/compassionate/give people/situations the benefit of the doubt. I always look for the positive side of things. BUT, that line of thinking hasn't gotten me very far. I'm starting to believe that, if there is such a thing as previous lives, I must have been serial killer in my previous life. Why else would I be in the situation I'm in? How does one end up in the position I am in? Never once in my life, have I had so much frustration/rage at a particular person and situation. Talk about going from the fryer to the frying pan. I'd rather be sitting at home collecting unemployment and facing repossession or eviction!

More importantly I'm disgusted by the fact that I have become (and I'm being brutally honest) a bit*h. I've started to snap and snarl at those who are a part of my inner circle. I've been short with those who are offering words of support and encouragement, while maintaining the up-most patience with the person/situation who is causing such a dramatic mood change in the first place! =(

I'm at a loss of words to describe what I deal with at work. Even more so, I'm disappointed in myself at how I've channeled the frustration towards "my people." I must find a solution to this problem. I must seek out new position that will make me happy or at least have me well on my way to being satisfied so I can come back to me. Thanks DC.

On a Mission

I have launched Operation B We Go Hard. Today was the 1st day and it was a success. After the "cleansing," a successful night out, a hot movie date and the awesome-ness that is the New Yankee Stadium, I decided to make some adjustments a la Bridget Jones style. The Operation consists of lowering the beverage intake, total elimination of the slight nicotine addiction, eating a tad bit healthier and gracing the gym with my presence more often. The most crucial element to the Operation-going after the holy grail. I have unearthed the great mystery and am preparing to do battle with the oh so high and mighty admissions offices of some of the most prestigous law schools around. Hear's to an amazing LSAT score ;)

I don't know why I decided to launch the Operation. I didn't hear a song/watch a movie/or have a chance encounter/etc. that made me realize something. I've heard those stories before from a variety of people. I'm kinda jealous that I wasn't inspired to launch the Operation by mysterious forces. Scratch that- I'm not envious of mysterous forces cus I was my own divine inspiration and that's Top Notch ;)

Celebrate Good Times..

Come on! I really need to start listening to a different radio station. Oh wait, I live in a building with haywire internet access and poor radio reception. Typical. I did get an offer today. That's definitely a reason to throw caution to the wind and do a little celebrating. I indulged in a few bevvies and more importantly, a few new outfits. I lie. I didn't go overboard and buy whole new outfits, but I just had to pick up a few things on this momentous occasion. A girl's entitled to after fasting for the past few months.

Am I sell out? Nah. I remain true to the mission of uncovering the role of a lifetime. In the meantime, I will report for duty with as much enthusiasm and devotion that I can muster.

One

My first day as an official "laid-offe" has been faboosh. I slept in, watched Regis & Kelly, Rachel Ray and The View. I just sat in my pjs, in my bed, hanging out- watching all these wonderful informative shows. Who knows how much knowledge I have been denied by dragging myself off to "work" every morning at o'dark thirty! I got motivated at 12, when the news came on. I couldn't bare to watch the news-that's something the employed do! It was part of my old routine and I wanted nothing to do with it.

I went to the gym to think. I exercised the demons and pondered my next move. I asked myself the age old question-what do you want to be when you grow up? The Donald has said plenty of times that one must never commit oneself to something unless one is passionate about it. I'm in the process of reviewing everything I'm passionate about and how to turn that passion into my life's work. What can a procrastinator, with an electric taste in "causes," cultures, clothes and music pursue? Stay tuned ;)